School Jokes- Worm Science

In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment?"
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."

smart salesman

A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -
"Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?"

Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!"

The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again -
"Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00?

Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!"

The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy -
"Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much".

Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says:
"HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!"

"It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"

just a joke...

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want a 12-year-old scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference."

The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls, and says, "Hey bartender! This crap is 5-year-old scotch.I told you that I wanted a 12-year-old."

The bartender won't give up and tries once more, this time with an 8-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces, and says, "Bartender, I do not want 8-year-old scotch like this filth. Give me a 12-year-old scotch or I'll leave!"

Impressed, the bartender gives him the 12-year-old scotch on the house. The man takes a sip and sighs, "Ah, now that's the real thing."

A disgusting, ugly, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, "Hey, I think that's really far out what you can do. Try this one."

The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, "Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!"

The drunk's eyes light up and he says, "So how old am I?"