A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want a 12-year-old scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference."
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls, and says, "Hey bartender! This crap is 5-year-old scotch.I told you that I wanted a 12-year-old."
The bartender won't give up and tries once more, this time with an 8-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces, and says, "Bartender, I do not want 8-year-old scotch like this filth. Give me a 12-year-old scotch or I'll leave!"
Impressed, the bartender gives him the 12-year-old scotch on the house. The man takes a sip and sighs, "Ah, now that's the real thing."
A disgusting, ugly, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, "Hey, I think that's really far out what you can do. Try this one."
The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, "Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!"
The drunk's eyes light up and he says, "So how old am I?"